Now, getting
over the whole idea of money being the root cause of happiness, and
knowing that it's not all that matters, we start looking at things in
a different light. If you've done the list I mentioned in the last
post, you'll realize that not everything you can do to make you happy
depends solely on money, but more that society has shaped us into
believing that our basic needs cost a lot, and so what makes us happy
doesn't matter.
The thing
is, happiness depends very little on the external environment than it
does on the internal. One of the best people I've heard talk about
this is Shawn Achor in his book, The Happiness Advantage (I'll list
links at the bottom). He spent ten years studying happiness levels at
Harvard, where most people believe that you shouldn't have a reason
not to be happy, and came to a conclusion that the reality was
completely different.
You see, our
brains over the years has been trained to pay attention to the
negative, and dismiss the positive. We think of war, disasters,
revolutions, deaths, and to a smaller level of things like
competition at the workplace, grades, bills, etc. I'm not saying that
we shouldn't think about these things at all, but I believe that
we've reached a point that we've filtered out any good news and have
started to concentrate solely on the negative.
On the
smallest scale, your news feed on Facebook (especially if you're in
Egypt) is a constant reminder of how everything is going to hell,
whether mentioned seriously or in a satirical manner. You dismiss
quotes about lobe, friendship, spirituality, or even statuses about
good news, and rather concentrate on some newspaper clipping that is
destined to ruin the rest of your day.
What that
basically does is diminish your tolerance for anything at all. You
spiral into a mini-state of depression followed by a complete lack of
action, attention, memory and epiphany. Everything around you seems
to get a bit darker, there seems to be no reason to do anything,
procrastination becomes a true sport, and the end result is you
continue with what you were originally doing that got you into this
state in the first place.
This is then
closely followed by finding excuses and playing the 'blame game'. You
end up thinking that things would get better if 'you are more
successful at work' or if 'you leave the country', or if 'Morsi had
never been elected' (this is my favorite). Recently, I've started
posting a small question on Facebook and Twitter, asking my friends
that if 25% of your success depends on your IQ and knowledge, what
would determine the other 75%? (I'll post the results after a few
days, and I'm sure the answers will be surprisingly negative).
The truth of
the matter is that our brains, when in a positive mindset, performs
significantly better than when in a negative state or under stress
(cramming in your studies during the last week doesn't mean you work
better under stress). You're more attentive, memory increases, you're
more energetic and creative. Believe me, everything changes.
Unfortunately,
this blog isn't meant as a step-by-step guide, but more a starting
point from which you, beloved reader, can continue the journey of
research in whatever you find interesting. All I'm doing is shedding
a light on certain matters and hinting at solutions and where you
could find them. If I ever write a book about all this, maybe I'll
change that, but for now, I won't waste too much of your time.
So, here are
links to various aspects that helped me on this small journey to
happiness.
Shawn
Achor's TED talk (with links on the side to others)
Shawn
Achor's book and website
MindValley
and how they've applied the same concepts in their business and
turned it into a place everyone wants to work in (even people from
Google)
Other things
you might find interesting
My last
advice here is that you take the time to see the videos, read the
books, and add to your research so you can truly find a way to be
happy.
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