Let's start
with a commonly known term called 'positive psychology'. No, this is
not the simple think-positive outline that is constantly thrown at
us. This is not some form of 'The Secret' (God forbid, and I'll maybe
get to that some other time). This is actually a branch of psychology
that concerns itself with scientific research aimed at making normal
life more fulfilling. It's not hocus-pocus, magic-driven,
wish-for-and-you-will-have ideologies. It's based fully on research,
aiming at promoting the positive aspects of life (happiness,
creativity, endurance, ability to adapt, etc.) by social systems and
institutions.
I won't go
any deeper into it, but for those interested, there's a wealth of
information about positive psychology on the net that I urge you to
read through and get acquainted with.
Now, what I
am mainly concerned with here is happiness, and in one way or the
other, this is what positive psychology concerns itself with as well.
I personally believe that happiness depends almost fully on how you
perceive the world around you, and not the marketed world we've given
into.
Television,
advertising, social groups and more have convinced us all that the
only way to happiness is materialistic. The more we have, the happier
we'll be. This concept has become so mainstream that it's basically
been shoved down our throats. We've given into it, and we're
believing it.
And, how do
we get those things that will make us happy? Money. Which comes from
hard work, and corporate slavery. You work harder and longer hours to
earn more money to spend “on things we don't need, to impress
people we don't like”. Don't forget that things get more expensive,
so the amount of time and effort we put into earning money at first
just doesn't cut it anymore.
So we work
harder still. Or steal. Or kill.
If you truly
believe that more money is directly related to an increase in
happiness, I beg you to look up the Easterlin paradox. If you have
the time, a look into Daniel Gilbert's “Stumbling on Happiness'
would also be beneficial, where research suggests that money makes a
difference to the poor (where basic needs are not fulfilled) but has
a diminished effect once reaching the middle class. Which is why in
corrupt, developing countries, where dictators are the norm, messing
with the basic needs of the general population keeps everyone in
check. Keep 80% fighting for their basic needs, and the other 20%
scared of being part of that majority, and you got yourself a nation
of sheep that 'go with the flow'.
Sound
familiar?
So, once you
get past the idea that money is what's going to make you happy, and
past the illusion that your basic needs are not fulfilled (take a
good look at your life and re-evaluate what you consider basic and
what the market's made you believe is basic), you start to understand
what I mean when I say happiness depends on how you perceive your
life.
A little
exercise I tried out a few months ago put a lot of that into
perspective. Try it, and let me know how it works out for you:
1- Take a
pen and paper and write these down at the top: food, water, shelter,
clothes. If you have all four of these, your basic needs are actually
fulfilled. Or to be more precise, the bottom level of Maslow's
triangle is fulfilled, in one way or the other, and the second level
is at least half-done, if not fully.
2- Divide
the paper in half (two columns). On the left-hand side, write down
what you believe will make you happy. On the right-hand side,
opposite each point you've written, break down this notion to its
simplest form. For example, if going out with your friends makes you
happy, then the simplest form would be 'companionship'.
3- On a
separate piece of paper, take each simple form and figure out three
or four different ways you can have the same thing, but in a
different way than you initially thought of. After you've done this,
you'll realize that a lot of what you believed will make you happy
can actually be achieved in ways that are both easier, if not
cheaper, and still give you that same feeling.
This might
not work for everyone, but it's definitely worth a shot, and it's
important for what I have to say next.
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